All the Signs
Being that I pride myself in having a good understanding of the male species, one would think that I’d catch on to things fairly quickly. That definitely was not the case in this 2 month story.
I recently had an experience where this “young” man, had many of the bells and whistles one looks for. I hate to stereotype but he initially was not my cup of tea but grew on me. His demeanor was one that made me lift an eyebrow; humble towards his appearance was not something he was. Glorified his self as the best in everything and of course was a “catch” for the next single woman.
I of course always brush off the things people say in the beginning of courtship.
Remember – It’s like you’re in a retail store, the sales associate views you as the goal and will do anything to get the “sale”.
However, as I encourage everyone to do, know what you like, don’t fall for the gimmicks and you should be able to make wise decisions; Wise being the keyword.
It took us 2 weeks to decide to go on a date: date 1 was fun, a bit of chemistry but something was off.
It took me almost 3 weeks to get to date 2! Mind you, I spoke to this individual pretty frequently. The official excuse was work, work and work. Being that my schedule at times is a little tight, of course I understood. Date 2 and 3 were a little weird, I felt as I did back in High School. Superficial, substance- less conversation and again something was off.
Mother always said, “Listen with your instincts”.
After Date 3, my instincts were raging, screaming at me in a way and I had to step back and re-play everything I described.
Long pauses between dates: When and IF a man is wholeheartedly interested in you, nothing will stop him from seeing you again. He’ll either be very communicative with you about his unruly schedule or work it out. Point blank.
Routines: Be wary of them. When you notice that you’re falling quickly into a pattern or trend, now is the time to question it.
Nonchalant guilt: This occurs when someone is exhibiting unusual behaviors but brushes off said behavior. If we realize someone is doing this and we “ignore” or “excuse” them, we are just as guilty.
I realized we were in a routine, routines are good but not in the courtship timeframe. I took my advice and I was honest with him. I asked directly and sternly.
When you incorporate honesty, pure honesty in your conversations with someone, your question will initiate an honest reaction.
His reaction was one that I was not satisfied with.
I believe that in order for anything to work effectively, you have to be content with the decisions of your partner. Partnership is built on mutual agreement. If I have a problem with said routine then what can we do to fix to it. Suggestions were never offered. Action had to be taken.
Now here we are, I have another topic to discuss and another lesson learned.
For me and for anyone reading this, take the signs, read them, do as they direct you to and move on when you should. Staying longer, excusing behavior you would not exhibit yourself and accepting the lack of respect you receive is not the purpose of these blogs.
Every day I have the opportunity to do better, to take my lessons learned from yesterday and to not allow them to happen again.
Practice, repeat and change.
The outcome you desire will soon come.
Love & Light