How many times have you answered the phone to the sound of your ex on the other line? Better asked, how many times have you heard your ex’s voice and wondered, “what the hell are you doing calling me?!”
It happens to me all too often, where I’ve finally stopped thinking of someone daily, replaying our relationship over, picking the details apart with a fine tooth comb and I’ve finally stopped hearing their ringtone every time my phone rung….
And of course, to my luck and I’m certain there’s a few people out there who can relate, the phone rings and it’s you! What should you do at this point? Act as though nothing? As if this is completely normal? Ask questions?
To me this whole scenario is similar to walking into a field of landmines with a blindfold on.
It’s….. “it’s so exciting!”
What have I done when I hear that person calling? All of the above in a 5 minute window, it’s like I get diarrhea of the mouth! I know you’ve experienced that before.
To my defense it only happens once in a blue moon! (Any of my past lovers reading this should feel special right about now)
For those of you wondering, what happens during those 5 minutes of torture for both parties, here it is, in a nutshell:
Excitement, fear, worry, anger, more excitement, horny-ness, a little bit more anger and to top it off, memory loss.
We get excited because we genuinely miss the conversations once held, we fear of losing that again, we worry about the purpose of the call, we get angry because we’re experiencing of all these feelings, do I really need to explain the horny part? Okay, moving on, and back to angry…. Angry because again, we realize we just word vomited all over you. We realized that this person who may have left your life abruptly, rudely, wrongfully, hurtfully and a million other ways, is calling again! Out of nowhere! Where the hell did you come from?! I forgot the most important feeling, shocked!
So I want to switch gears really quickly, because I recently noticed that I’m completely guilty of being that random ex-girlfriend caller! Yup, Guilty as charged!
Here I am driving on the highway, whistling dixie, popping bubble gum and staring at myself in the mirror and all of a sudden something reminds me of “him”! The moment is so innocent, it happens so fast, it’s like a mental attack, I’ve lost all control and I call you!
“Hey what’s up stranger!?”
Now that I hear myself replaying this, I sound so pathetic!
That “thing” that reminded me of you, didn’t remind me of how I made you feel, how you made me feel the last time we spoke, what’s happened since then, I completely draw a blank….It isn’t that I forgot all of these things, I don’t want to think about that, I just want to go back to that happy place for just one minute.
You answer the phone, kind of confused, I have no real reason why I’m calling you and here comes the rainstorm of questions! Kindly known as “diarrhea of the mouth”.
I would think that one would know how to handle the situation given that chances are you’ve played both roles but that pesky little thing called memory loss kicks in!
It really is indescribable what it feels like when you’re in both positions.
I know for me, in both positions, honesty would be the best policy, but it’s so hard to knowingly ruin a moment, when you can easily ignore the truth and carry on with a fairytale moment, even if it doesn’t last long.
My advice to you, before you pick up the phone, think about the purpose of you opening your mouth, think about why you’re really calling because whether you want to believe it or not, you’re opening up a can of worms that you probably did not want to open.
If you need to hear that person’s voice, don’t be selfish, after you’ve hung up the phone the other person could be hurting all over again just because you could not control yourself.
If you receive that call, proceed with caution, ask the necessary questions needed in order to get a better understanding of the situation and most importantly don’t allow memory loss to cloud your judgment!
I can’t change the world but if I can change the way one person handles a situation to avoid hurting someone else, then I have to always be honest with myself and you.
Minor changes make a world of a difference!
Love & Light