It’s almost 11:00 pm on a beautiful Saturday night; I’m single, in a big tee-shirt and shorts….Googling wedding dresses!
Not quite sure what happened between eating chips and singing along to Coldplay but something definitely happened. I have to admit I am the ultimate romantic, can sit at home for days watching wedding shows but I have never actually gone and looked at gowns online or given any real thought to the idea! Perhaps I’m running a fever?
A few weeks ago, I was watching Sex and The City; it was the episode where Carrie and Miranda were trying on dresses in hopes of calming Carrie’s growing anxiety over getting engaged. Well ultimately Carrie broke out in hives and ripped the dress right off of her. I spoke to one of my girlfriends about the episode and she said “Jenny that is something I know you would totally do!”
I mean hasn’t everyone, male and female, thought about their wedding?
Haven’t we all broken out in hives, had small panic attacks or shortness of breath when thinking of committing to someone for the rest of our lives?
If you laughed and said “No”, well thanks for making this conversation awkward for me. Appreciate it.
It’s such a big commitment that should never be taken lightly, any sort of commitment that involves someone else, where you have an effect on their emotional wellbeing, warrants careful consideration. Quite frankly, when I think of that, I start to sweat a little bit, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Now if you feel like this is something you cannot do and you’re freaking out, DON’T DO IT!
Back to my moment of enlightenment:
So I’m hardcore looking at different sites, thinking I won’t look good in this, no, my guest wouldn’t appreciate this style, this is out of my budget and etcetera. Then of course I snap back into reality and realize, Jenn…you’re not engaged, your single and you’re losing it!
Now I wonder am I really losing it? I know many women and men who have always planned their wedding and thought about how that would be, so why do I feel like if I share this with the world, that I am going to be judged?
Well, that’s because I will be judged.
Weddings in our modern day are not what they use to be. Now, SOME of them serve as “get out of jail free cards” and “relationship solidifiers”. How often do we hear or say to someone, “Oh you’ve been with ___ for 1 year? When are you getting engaged? When is the big day?”
It seems as though we’re in a race and the big trophy is getting married. I mean I’m certain the pressure of being with someone intensifies when everyone around you is pushing you towards something. More often than not we women apply the same pressure, guilty tripping and giving unwarranted ultimatums.
Men! You do it too! You use marriage as a carrot and dangle it in front us and of course when someone wants something, nothing stands in our way of getting it, even our own good conscious.
What about all of the other people who ignore the pressures of today, believe in the sanctity of marriage and actually want to be a husband/wife? Where do we stand? Are we dying breed? Should I keep searching for my dream dress?
I’m going to say yes! Keep that hope alive, stay true to your values and you’ll be shopping for wedding attire sometime soon I hope.
Be mindful of the pressures of today, there are almost 7 billion people in the world, the right one for you is out there. Finally, remember, if you’re going to marry someone it should be a lifetime commitment so don’t rush time, let time run its natural course.
Back to Google I go!
Love & Light
Jenny Love 2224