I was asked to write about my thoughts on a new or shall I say blossoming relationship. Since I speak from truth, experience and pain..Here is my view....
In this day and age it is so hard to meet single people but when you do it's even harder to determine what kind of single person they are.
Are they the "Looking for Love & I'm Ready Single"
Are they the "Looking for Some Physical Action Single"
Are they the "Commitment Phoebe Single"
Are they the "Looking for Love BUT I Have A LOT of Baggage That WON'T Allow Me to Love Single"
Are they the "Not Interested Single"
There are quite a few categories for single people.. The first step is figuring out which category YOU fall into.. You may think that you are ready to engage in a relationship but you really aren't OR you may think that you're not interested in love but someone just captures your attention....and well.... when that happens, it's all about honesty.
When you first meet someone you really have to listen to what they're saying, I know what you're thinking... All women over analyze everything, this is true, but we also don't analyze the things we should.. Especially when we first meet someone. In the first few minutes of meeting someone most of us think, "Is he the man I'm going to marry? What will our kids look like? I wonder if he snores? What if he's a bad kisser? What if!"
We take ourselves through this journey in our mind that we shouldn't! Which sometimes makes us run the other way without even knowing any hardcore facts! The only journey we should be on is the one which is facing us.. Which is that cutie you met!
So you talk to them, think about all the reasons why they're great for you but in this moment is where we lose ourselves, where we forget our bottom lines, our can't haves, our relationship morals, our self worth and value system..Where we forget about the things we learned from our past experiences and where we should try to not make the same mistakes.
This is the moment where we begin to accept the things that we shouldn't.
Because we don't want to lose what we "may" have with this stranger! We want so badly, ALL of us single people to find the ONE! Most of the times we overlook the person who is right for us because we are to busy making exceptions for the things we shouldn't.
I'll give you a personal example:
I met this guy once..
Issue 1 - I broke my promise to never meet a guy in a bar/club setting...
Issue 2 - He lived VERY far away...
Issue 3 - I forgot ALL of my rules...(By rules I mean my standards, my must haves & can't stands)
So initially, we had an amazing time together, I went through all the scenarios in my head (We had a huge house, I was a cute little housewife, with 3 kids, a dog and a weekly shopping allowance!) We "decided" to make things work even though the odds were against us.
Not to long after things went sour, I'll keep the details private but I think it was sad for the both of us...
The issue at hand was not all of the issues I listed above but we both were not LISTENING to what the other was saying, I wanted the weekly allowance & dog, He wanted his career and we both ignored those BIG factors that ultimately would pump the breaks on any relationship...We wanted two different things in present day. Even though all of these wishes were constantly spoken about but we chose to ignore them, because we as human beings want to love so badly and want to feel wanted that we'll go along with whatever is thrown our way, hoping to get to that happy ending...
Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with anything that I did, you've done, or what we both will do..
We just have to learn to listen, listen real hard when someone is telling you about how they feel and what they want. You'll be able to better gage their REAL compatibility with you and not just what your heart wants for you. You and the present may want the same in the future but it may not be enough to get you there in one piece...
They say lead with your heart but we need to use our intelligence as well..
So the moral of the story is:
Learn yourself first
Learn your potential partner
Build on a solid foundation
Create your future together as one
It all starts with a glance but it always ends with one too. We just have to control how that final glance is given.
Love & Light